I blog a lot about running, and a lot about success. Partially that’s because success is what inspired me to blog, and, to be honest, I haven’t faced a lot of real adversity. I ran slow, I’ve had a couple of worth-mentioning injuries, but overall the trajectory of my running has been really good. Sure, I had a heartbreaker when trying for sub-2 hours in the Half Marathon, but that’s not exactly a failure.
Well, last Thursday, I felt like a failure. My weight routine has been a consistent rotation of 4 exercises intended to be total body exercises. Clean & Jerk, Squat, Bench Press & Pullups. The ‘centerpiece’ of it is effectively the Clean & Jerk, because it is a truly great total body lift.
If you do it right. Which I found out on Thursday that I don’t. And when I tried to do it right, I bashed myself in the collarbone, screaming out a curse at the top of my lungs. After that, I was pretty much done. I couldn’t focus, anger-induced adrenaline had replaced the functional excitement to do physical activity. I felt like if I picked up something heavy again that night, it was going to be to throw it.
I skipped my Saturday weightlifting session, hoping to get some distance between me and that miserable session, but when I arrived on Tuesday, I wasn’t feeling much better. I still don’t know how to do a proper Clean & Jerk. But I started over, reduced the weight and am trying to learn. Ideally, I’d have someone who knew what they were doing to tell me, rather than just my vague recollection of youtube videos. But alas, the trainers at my gym aren’t really interested in talking to me, and their style doesn’t quite mesh with mine, so I think I’ll just keep fumbling my way toward it.
Fumbling my way toward it is how I’ve gotten this far in everything else. Here’s to feeling like a failure, and getting back on the horse. Er, bench. I don’t really like horses.