Road Hazards

Things that have happened to me while running.

  •  Pulled over by a police officer and told to get out of the road.
  • Almost run over approximately 10 times. Cars backing out of driveways, people turning right, and trucks with mirrors large enough to dress in being the major dangers.
  • Been heckled by 2 separate cars full of teenagers. “Slow Motion Jogger” and “Eeeewl!”. Thanks, folks. Love the motivation.
  • Nearly run down by a bicycle who thought “on your left” was something he could mutter approximately 1 second before impact. He then yelled at me to turn off my iPod. My iPod was off.
  • Got into a shouting match with a neighbor who pulled past me on a snowy day doing 40mph on a 25mph road and HONKED. 
  • Tried to notify several people that I was passing (“on your left”) and had them scream at me not to surprise them.
  • Had a confrontation, in the dark, with two unleashed dogs who ran into the road to block me from passing their house.

And now, add to that list

  • Narrowly missed by a waterballoon thrown from a car window.

Luckily these kids had shit for aim.

Of course, a few weeks from now I’ll probably be running in the heat, thinking how welcome it would be to be covered heel to toe in water. Solution: Go jogging where there are a lot of bored teenagers, preferably with access to water. Fundraiser car wash?


5 responses to “Road Hazards

  1. In the full heat of summer, you’ll definitely be craving that water balloon impact…you might even want to carry your own to throw back…

    I can’t count the number of people I’ve had roll through stop signs or even go through red lights when there aren’t cars around and just little ol’ me runner. Like playing a game of Frogger in real life.

    One other funny one: my father-in-law had a deer charge him. He escaped unharmed because the deer slipped on the edge of an icy bridge and stumbled down the banks.

    • I try to be a good sport, but really, I was so grouchy about it!

      Real life frogger is definitely part of running. At least out here in the suburbs I have a shot of seeing every car around me; the one time I jogged in Chicago I felt like it was required to dodge cars at every intersection, and cabbies will kill you without a second thought.

      And the deer! That’s one of those things you wish you had on video. I bet the dramatic retelling of that story makes a great cocktail party tale.

  2. pawsitivelife

    I got bit by a Canada goose once. Now they are my mortal enemy. and once I inadvertly crossed the securty line to a nuclear plant and was escorted out. Another time I was driving to my running club in mid january in Canada (in spandex) when my cars transmission diet and I had to wait for a tow truck for 2 hours in -40C wearing almost nothing. So many run stories so little time

    • I tried to feed a goose this Sunday. Damned thing hissed at me like a snake. I think I’d rather face off with a bear.

      Also, -40C is conveniently -40F, so I don’t even have to do any math to realize that was one MISERABLY cold wait! Was your car at least running!?

      Running into a nuke plant sounds like a good way to end up in Gitmo. At least you wouldn’t have to run in -40C…

  3. Pingback: 6 day streak | Wisely and Slow

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